theniftycat:
You’ve heard about Napoleon Solo, now get ready for
Charlemange Duo

You’ve heard about Illya Kuryakin, now get ready for
Healthya Nosmokin

looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: Napoleon Solo, Illya Kuryakin, Alexander Waverly, April Dancer, Mark Slate
looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you: Lisa Rogers

Napoleon on a date: So, what will you have?
Illya: A souffle.
Napoleon *throws breadsticks in his purse*: I think I heard a communicator… It’s in my other coat.

numbertwosectiontwo:
WHO YOU SHOULD FIGHT: MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. EDITION
napoleon solo: don’t fight napoleon solo. he might let you win if he likes you, but you’ll be stuck with the knowledge that you only won because he wanted you to.
illya kuryakin: do you want to die? do you actually want to die? don’t fight illya.
mr waverly: while he may look like your nice grandfather, he has a worldwide organization behind him. he can also probably kill you using only his pipe. do not fight waverly.
april dancer: she’s the first female section two agent. if her excellent fashion doesn’t get you, she will. do not fight her.
mark slate: fight him. he got taken down by three untrained fishermen once.
angelique: don’t fight angelique. she could kill you and look gorgeous while doing it.
a girl from section 4 or 5: you could probably take one of them since they’re support staff. but why would you want to?
a thrush agent: fight them. fight them. just god damn fight them. it doesn’t even matter if you lose, it’s the principle of the thing.

zodiac-galaxy:
THE SIGNS AS SPIES
aries: the totally dedicated spy that will crawl through air vents to break into places and snapchat their friends at the same time
taurus: the dependable spy that shows up last minute to help finish a fight and also their fake accents are on point
gemini: the inconspicuous spy that tries to listen in on a secret discussion but their phones goes off and their ringtone is like a hannah montana song and it blows their cover
cancer: the clumsy spy that doesn’t see the red laser censors and just walks through them and gets caught but somehow escapes lol
leo: the badass spy that knows all these ninja moves but when it comes to actually fighting they resort to pulling their enemy’s hair but if the enemy touches their hair they’re dead
virgo: the analytical spy that spots details and clues that no one else notices and ends up saving the day almost every time
libra: the chill spy that flies their helicopter to starbucks before starting their secret mission bc priorities
scorpio: the seductive spy that stealthily collects the enemy’s secrets but can barely breathe bc their hot spy outfit is too tight oops
sagittarius: the irresponsible spy that somehow ends up with the task of saving the entire world even though they’re the type of person that would push a red button that says “do not push”
capricorn: the classy spy that wears sunglasses with a formal outfit and looks so professional that even james bond is lowkey jealous
aquarius: the spy that thinks they’re kim possible and says “what’s the sitch” too much
pisces: the weird spy that tells everyone to call them some wacky code name and accidentally gives out classified information